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Been away to long

Hi Family and Friends,

I have been away from the blog two months...not on purpose...time seems to get away by me fast. Many things have taken place in the last two months.....

First My pals Terry Minor and Bill Llib passed away from Colon Cancer. As you have read in the previous post I dedicated the Lajolla Half marathon for Terry in April(she loved her medal) Terry passed away in June.

Second I dedicated the Rock in Roll San Diego half marathon in June(he got his medal :) Bill passed away August 23... Both of these amazing people were my Cyber Colon Club pals....I loved them both for being great Colon pals...when your in the club(the club you don't want to be in) you are comforted my peeps who understand you...and these peeps did that for me. I hope i was able to give back to them what they did for me.....I pray for there family's who are left with living without them...that with time and healing they can celebrate Terry and Bill for the impact they have touched on the ones the love.

I have been a running fool....as of now I have done 4 1/2 marathon's this year with 2 more scheduled for Sept and Oct...by the time the year ends i will have completed 7 since cancer woke my life up. My body is starting to get a little tired ...When i do the race i think of who im honoring for an seriously peeps ....they carry me through 13.1 ever time...I reflect on where i came for and what my peeps are enduring...chemo...radiation and surgery....it motivates me like no other...Forever to God for giving me this moment in time to give back the love...

I ran this last race the Carlsbad a few weeks ago...this was the last race of the triple crown(3 1/2 marathon's in one year....the hardest race to date!!!!!!!!! I ran with my pals Charisse, Robin, Kim and my West Coast running group.....the humidity and heat were wicked....I so wanted to have another personal best time....I came to reality that it was not going to happen by mile 3 when i was so freaking hot....mile 7 and angel man handed me a ice cold wash cloth ...I place it on my head and it cooled me down to make it home to the finish line....I was in my own world mile 10-13 thinking of Jessica Smith, Terry, Beverly, Bill...Colon Club peeps.....Gloria:)  www. wunderglo.com  and on the home stretch i thought of Jan and Barb...thanking them for getting me through this race....when i crossed the finish line who do i see but Jen:) my pals and my awesome WCRR pals...a true gift!!

I knew that i would have to earn that Triple Crown...I sent that to Gloria...and Bev got the America's Finest City medal.....

Jen and I went Bako for some great family time and some serious food grazing...Seeing my Great Aunt Pearl was one of the highlights of the trip....we wrote a letter to her sister(my grandma) since she can't write...the small things like that bring me joy...
I was able to for a run with Paul and Denni(they are my pals who inspired me to run when i had cancer) in Bako...the heat was blazing..i should have know that was preparing me for the Triple Crown the following week....these peeps are amazing athletes...Denni is qualifed for the Boston Marathon and Paul is a Ultra running man....grateful that they let me come play with them...climbing those punk hills...

Jen and I also played in a golf tournament with our friends and had the best time...my first time golfing and my team won..yahoooooo i think i have a new love of Golf!! I posted some pics:)

I have been feeling very healthy....I go see Dr. Sigal in May... I have not missed him lol

Love to you all....Carpe Diem

La Jolla 1/2 marathon April 2012

Pictures of the last month

4 1/2 marathon's since cancer

Hello my Family and Friends,
I'm late posting..a whole month late. Sorry ...I'm out there soaking in some great life...let me share.

LaJolla Half Marathon was April 29, 2012 I ran this race (which i PR) with my pal Charisse. My time was 2:51...this race was one of the most memorable races for me...you see my friends this race took me up a mean Bad Mamma Jamma hill up Torrey Pines...I had been practicing this hill for months...let me say it is less than a mile but it is all HILL. It reminded me of my cancer treatment..you climb and climb and climb ...then you reach the top of the mountain(and this is at mile 6) you hate the climb but once you reach the top....pure joy...as I'm still trying to get oxygen in lol. Once you reach the top you go about a mile and it drops you out to a street....a street that i was very familiar with...the street that my hospital and chemo building reside on. So as I approach Scripps Hospital I'm having a major flashback of my Cancer Journey Oct 2008...I look at the parking lot of where i had an allergic reaction to my chemo...to the front door of the chemo building where Poppa stood outside with me after chemo...to the hospital where i stayed for 5 days after Colon surgery...where i cried trying to walk after surgery..where i cried after chemo...where i thought i might die....to...  me running by the building as i competed in this 1/2 marathon...I gave all Glory and Praise to Jesus...he was not ready to call me home and now was giving me the grace of running/chugging....it is hard to find the words that i felt in that moment but the closest i can come to is....humbled....I will never forget that moment ever. I dedicated this race to my pal Terry Minor from the Colon Club. Terry is stage 4 and is giving her all to live...Her faith in God makes me smile...I sent the medal to her...with her name on it ...the true winner. Running with my friend Charisse was a true gift for me...we helped each other through the 13.1 miles...This race is now etched in my mind forever..thank you friend.

Jen and I went to Hawaii in May for my pal Jessie and Daniel's Wedding...We could have not had a better time. To witness our friends say i do ...a true gift. We swam, ate, drank, and soaked up great life with our pals...we made new friends:) I will post some pics. Jenni was able to paddle board for the first time..to see the smile on her face was priceless....(she has now since bought her own board last weekend) being in Hawaii always brings me pure joy...i become very still there and just breathe.

Last Sunday I ran the Rock and Roll Marathon of San Diego..I dedicated this medal /race to my pal Bill Llib-Colon Club. Bill is stage 4 and a kick in the pants...i love him....he always has great words of advice and through his pain and struggle...still puts a smile on our faces. (he loved his medal) he does not like attention on him...but he needed to feel the love and admiration i have for my friend. This race was AWESOME....It was hard..but not as hard as Lajolla....it was flat 13 miles...the kind i love. I had another PR 2:48 yahoooo I'm like a fine wine getting better with age.  I really wanted 2:45 but you know what sometimes you have to calm down and say "Self you are a survivor" you are in this world...be present and thank God for all....I say i run for Jesus... i pushed myself on this race...thinking of all my colon peeps and their journey...i run for all of them......

My sweet girl Jen was waiting for me at the end(we did get split up for 45 minutes..my fault..i went in the marathon exit instead of 1/2 marathon exit) Without her and my family support...it would never happen..I love ya Jen:)

The Golden Child is finishing up his Vet assistant program and the will procede with the Vet Tech in Fall....i love this kid more than life...I'm so proud of you Steven.

I hope you are all soaking in life and telling those you love that you LOVE them....

My journey continues with profound gratitude...I'm happy...Life is such a precious gift..

Carpe Diem Love you all,
Debbie
p.s I will post pics tonight xoxo

Broke up with Dr. Sigal Again

(Hi Family and Friends,
I'm still Cancer free.....yahooo....yipppeeee....but more importantly I'm forever thankful to God for giving me more time here on this earth. All Glory to God!!

I have to tell you before the appt. i was a nervous nelly..I know i said have given it all up...which i had until i walked into Scripps ...the nurse called me back and took my blood pressure and it was 168/111 Jenni and the nurse both looked at me and said. "Are you ok?" I replied NO..this place gets me worked up and i'm sure once i have seen Dr. Sigal and get great news...I will be fine.

As Jenni and I waited in the waiting room...she kept looking at me ...I told her she was making me nervous lol...I think with me anticipating the results and worrying if it was bad news how I was going to respond and then worrying about how Jenni was going to take the news...I could not calm down.

Finally I here the knock on the door and here comes my boyfriend Dr. Sigal ...After the formalities (which i feel any doc should just pass on and just get to the point)...he said, " your scan is clear..your blood work is great"....I felt my soul jump up and down inside of me ...me thanking God in my heart and smiling back at Jenni and Dr. Sigal.... Happy that i get to be with the Golden Child for 6 more months:)

Again Dr. S reminds me that i was Advanced Stage 3..lol I think he is in  just as much shock as I am... He asked if i was still running the half marathons...I told him how i was training and running the La Jolla Half  in 2 weeks and honoring my Colon Cancer peeps Bill and Terry... that i give my medal to  a colon pal who is fighting the disease and then I mentioned I was doing the triple crown series and this medal was going to Wunderglo.com ( check out this cool chick... amazing person)

Dr. Sigal could not wipe the smile off his face... I asked him if it would have been bad news would he have called me...he said. "yes". He then  told me he had called over 30 patients to tell them bad news about their scans... thinking to myself that has to be one of the hard things being a doc.. It sank in to me that this disease does not stop for all of us...I will continue honoring all my Colon Cancer Peeps by running and brining awareness to Colon Cancer...but more importantly....Putting a  name and soul to these beautiful people who continue to inspire me everyday.

I will continue to Carpe Diem...and live out this journey with gratitude and love....

I love my family and friends....a cyber strangers....

Most of all i love God and will trust his will forever..

Love and Peace,
Debbie
P.s I have broke up with Dr. Sigal again for 6 more months ....he takes it so hard when i leave him lol

Being Present

Hi Family and Friends,

This month I have been trying to be REALLY present in how i feel. I had my Ct scan last Friday and I will get my results on the 20th of April when i see Dr. Sigal. I'm almost at 3/12 years from my diagnosis of Colon Cancer. You would think with this much time moving away from that day of diagnosis....I would feel very confidant about not having a recurrence. This has not been the case for me this time. I have had Scan anxiety at ITS best this time. Worry, worry, worry....thoughts of what if?...thought's of has it been there growing from the last scan a year ago...to please don't come back..i love my life in a healthy, happy state.

Walking back into Scripps to have my Scan and blood work brings me comfort of familiar surroundings and loving peeps like Woody the CT scan man...then the other feelings of I really don't like being here. My mind has been working over load and I'm trying to calm it down...

I know that I'm not alone feeling this way...many of my cancer peeps have expressed these feelings...it is part of the Cancer Journey... I deceided to snap myself out of it!!!!

I have been finding great relief from running/chugging these past months...we ran 12 miles last weekend and let me tell you that is a couple of hours of meditating on LIFE. It really is the one thing that takes my mind and settles me down(probably because I'm concentrating on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other lol). I feel so grateful to be out with my West Coast Road Runner peeps and soaking in life....i feel joy!

Every Tuesday night we have been training on the hill that is on the LaJolla half marathon(which is April 29th)....I call this hill" The Bad Mamma Jamma Hill"....this hill...this steep...steep long hill is a PUNK!! For weeks we have been practicing going up this hill for the race...it has not been easy on any of the attemps...in fact i keep thinking "why am i doing this?"

This last Tuesday me and the hill made peace with each other...we have mutual respect now....I finally did not battle this hill...I stopped resisting this climb...I surrendered to this hill and accepted the hill for what it is...a bad ass hill....but i stopped fighting it and just went up that hill without "thought's" of negative obstacles.....made my best times up the hill...in fact I made it up the hill 2 times....I learned that if i was just present in the moment and not in my mind... all over the place with thoughts..the hill and I became one....

So I choose to not fight the scan results...or what ever comes my way again in life...

Us humans are funny souls...we always want to make it hard and fight the current...just go with the current and see where life takes you on your journey.

Love you all,

Carpe Diem Debbie xoxo

p.s Todd thank you for the Bandit shout out.....it really changed me forever:)

Divine Intervention/SD Undy 5000

Hi Family and Friends,

Well first of all I rescheduled my Ct Scan for April...closer to my appt with Dr. Sigal. My last Scan was March of 2011..I'm not to far off.

I wanted to share an amazing thing that happened to me today. I was running with my West Coast running group this morning. Are mileage was 9 miles today...I'm training for the La Jolla 1/2 marathon in April(part of the Triple Crown races...3 1/2 marathon in one 1 year) I have dedicated this race to two of my Colon Cancer pals Bill Llib and Terry Minor. They both have stage 4 Colon Cancer and are wonderful people that are doing all that they can do to conquer their cancer. I'm grateful for their friendship.

So my marathon peeps were starting at 6:40 am this morning and I told them I would run with the 1/2 marathoners at 7:00am. I was head of scheduled and arrived at the meeting stop at 6:30am....so..I decided to go with the marathoners..We were going to run around mission bay about 4.5 miles and then turn around and go back to complete 9 miles. I was working on my time and was ahead of the group...I was thanking God for all that I was grateful for...Appreciating my life...my health....happy to be alive...... and then I took a wrong turn. I realized my mistake and turned back and could see my peeps across the field and went to catch up with them... they said , "we might as well go the full circle and just complete the loop." I thought that would be 10 miles but the gals assured me it would be 9 miles when we stopped.

As we go to about 6 or 7 miles we saw our head coach tell us that there is a race up ahead in progress. We should be ok though. I thought well I'm sure the race is on a road close by us. The girls stopped at the bathroom(as us girls need breaks lol) I told them I was going to keep going...I noticed further ahead a street blocked. As I got closer I see that there was a race on the side street..I was on the Mission Bay park path...all of sudden I here a biker coming up saying runner up..I look up and see a runner fly by me... then a few more I notice that the outfits the runners are wearing are not the normal attire....the runners are wearing underwear...boxers, tight grey ones, batman...many variations...Oh my gosh...it is the San Diego Undy 5000 race in support of Colon Cancer!! ( And yes in the Month of March for Colon Cancer Awareness)

Now I know you are thinking to yourselves...Deb why are you not in this race? Well friends,

I heard about the race a month ago...I thought about running the race or getting a team together at the last minute....but I just felt like maybe next year...I don't have enough time to get a team together...I wanted to do a team to honor Jan Jay...then i also thought I'm training for the 1/2 and i need to get my 9 miles in.......I will just do the race next year...

So now I'm running along peeps supporting Colon Cancer...I'm smiling looking at the great outfits...a few wore t shirts...saying BUTT BURNERS HA!!! lol a girl with boxers saying JUNK IN THE TRUNK....a guy running with his dog and the leash has underwear hanging from the leash...then....it happened......

I saw two teen kids running by with a picture of their father on the back...I started to tear up. Looked across the street and say tons of peeps holding blue balloons ...tons of families walking in support of Colon Cancer....more peeps running with family pictures of someone they have lost to Colon Cancer...Now I'm overcome of thoughts of Jan, Jessica Smith, Terry, Bill, and all my peeps at Colon Club...tears are really starting to drip...trying to bite my lip... trying not to really breakdown......thinking of how all of these peeps are out here bringing awareness to Colon Cancer and honoring those they have lost..and me realizing oh my gosh ...I am one of those Colon Cancer survivor's...I can't explain it but ...It hit me like I have never been hit..almost like the day I was diagnosed.

Then I could not breath...Ya know when your throat feels like there is a apple lodged...I was crying and really trying to not make a scene... also trying to maintain my speed lol

Now at this point I have figured out that..... Oh CRAP.... lol I have veered off my course and now I'm entering the finish line path of the race lol...I started to panic...thinking that God had a plan for me today.....I was supposed to be here along....People are now cheering me on clapping, screaming great job...So proud of you..oh crap more tears....I finished over the finish line(I will have to decline the medal lol)....wait there is not medal....declined the water...and I just kept running....... off to the grass and back over to my course...as I ran away I looked back and saw a huge blow up COLON....I smiled and looked up to the sky and Thank God for being able to experience that....we think we know our course....but we really don't....God knows my course...and I trust him...

It kind of reminded me of when we were in my Grandma Alice's old beat up car and she took a wrong turn and we ended up in a parade....Grandma...Grandma we are in a parade...what are we going to do...She replied with a smile" Kids wave to the people"

A beautiful day of life it what i experienced today...wishing you all the same...

Capre Diem...love Deb

CT time

Hi Family and Friends,

Well I can't believe that it's time for another CT Scan...time fly's when you are living life:) My appointment is this Friday. Again ...I don't know how we end up scheduling like this but my 6 month check up with Dr. Sigal is in April...Ct Feb....waiting for results..here we go lol. I might move up my appt with Dr. Sigal..and not endure last years waitng.

Yes, I do have a bit of anxiety...not to bad. Just so want to here great news again. I love livinglife without Cancer.

This will be a short shout out to you all..I will give a update later. Aunt Karen and Jack thank you for always giving great encouraging words..I appreciate you both:)

p.s I was Devasted about Whitney Houston dying:( I think it was so sad...all about choices.

Soak in some great life everybody!!

p.s.s I have been missing Jan, Mom, and Poppa alot lately:(

xoxo

Carpe Diem...Debbie